ill eat ass but idk man the weird soft spots on bananas look weird
when you call in to work and your coworker answers the phone in their peppy work voice then realizes its you and goes back to sounding just as dead inside as you are
why is catcalling called catcalling? i like cats and i would quite like them calling me to see how i am or to make plans to meet for brunch, catcalling should be called something more accurate like asshole screeching or insecure masculinity
*snapchats and texts the same person at the same time*
now why would i ever want to get more than 4 hours of sleep when i can achieve these sexy dark bags under my eyes??
I’m not too late for the cute lil ghosts, right?
Of course you have to drag it and be amazed
THIS IS THE BEST ONE YET
this fucked me up
i always assume the worst of men and let them gradually prove themselves to me
Today on Social Anxiety Theatre: mentally rehearsing elaborate justifications for completely innocuous actions just in case some hypothetical interlocutor demands an explanation.